It's like I have an internal war going on between my heart and my mind. Do I want another baby or not? I think about this every day in an obsessive way, like all day!
My heart tells me I need another baby. A little girl named Alexis (yes she already has a name) I don't feel like I could not handle another child. She would be a great addition to the family. A little sister for Ashten and Tyanna. I feel like I need one more chance to go through labor and delivery all natural. Maybe even a midwife. One more shot to breastfeed for the whole first year. I have plenty other reasons.
My mind tells me no way dude!!! I don't want to gain 40 pounds again! I don't want to be on an emotionial roller coaster. I don't want to have leaky boobs for a year. I don't want to try and find a babysitter for five kids when Brad wants just us to go on a trip. I also have plenty other reasons for not having another.
I wish I could get a clear yes or no from God. But when I pray about it, I hear nothing!!! I can usually hear God's voice when trying to make a decision, but when it comes to this I think He thinks it's funny not to answer me. Honestly, I think God is OK with which ever decision we make.
I guess for now, I'll just do what I've been doing, worry about what I should do.
My name is Alecia. I have been married to Brad since November 13, 1999. We have 4 amazing children, Bradlee is 7, Tyanna is 5, Tristen is 3 and Ashten is 1. Our life pretty much revolves around them. We are working hard to raise them right in a crazy world. We also love to hang out with family and friends. And of course, an occasional date night is nice! We go to Trinity Church in Cedar Hill. We believe a close relationship with Jesus Christ is the most important thing in this world.